Smile through the Zoom call. Gaman. Even if it’s your 3rd “Can you hear me now?”
Sometimes life demands that you hold it together, even when everything around you feels like it’s falling apart. That ability to quietly endure with self-control—without complaint or drama—is what the Japanese call Gaman (我慢).
And yes, it also explains how most desi uncles survive weddings without food till 5 PM, sitting there with polite smiles while internally screaming.
What Does Gaman Really Mean?
Gaman translates roughly to “enduring the seemingly unbearable with patience, dignity, and self-restraint.”
It’s not about bottling up emotions in an unhealthy way. It’s about showing grace under pressure, especially when hardship is unavoidable.
✅ Patience → staying calm even when you’re hungry, tired, or stressed
✅ Perseverance → pushing through challenges without losing composure
✅ Dignity → keeping your inner strength even when circumstances are rough
Why Gaman Feels Rare in Today’s World
We live in an age of instant reactions: social media rants, quick outrage, and zero tolerance for inconvenience. Gaman offers the opposite—quiet resilience.
In Japanese culture, it’s often about not burdening others with your problems unnecessarily. It’s saying, “I’ll handle this calmly because making a scene won’t help anyone.”
Imagine applying Gaman to:
- Standing in a long, chaotic airport line
- Dealing with clients who keep changing briefs
- Sitting through another “quick” meeting that lasts an hour
You endure. Calmly. Gracefully.
How I See Gaman in My Journey
Running multiple ventures has taught me that sometimes… you just have to hold steady.
- When a project stalls unexpectedly, I’ve learned to pause instead of panic.
- At Mabali Island, sudden weather shifts or guest complaints used to stress me—but practicing Gaman means I listen, stay composed, and resolve without letting emotions run wild.
- Even in family life, there are moments when silence and patience speak louder than quick reactions.
The Subtle Power of Gaman
Practicing Gaman doesn’t mean you’re weak. It means:
- You choose inner strength over outward frustration.
- You keep your dignity intact even in hardship.
- You give space for solutions to emerge naturally, without force.
It’s also deeply linked to community harmony—because your calmness reduces tension for everyone around you.
When NOT to Gaman
Like any philosophy, Gaman can be misunderstood.
✔ Good for: unavoidable hardships, delays, challenges you must face
✘ Not for: tolerating injustice, abuse, or harmful situations
True Gaman is about enduring what’s necessary, not becoming passive in the face of things that should change.
How to Practice Gaman in Daily Life
- Pause before reacting. Take a deep breath before you complain or lash out.
- Remind yourself it’s temporary. Even the toughest moments pass.
- Focus on what you can control. Your reaction is always yours.
- Hold your dignity. Don’t let external chaos dictate your inner state.
Closing Thought
Gaman is the quiet strength of patience. It’s the calm in the storm. It’s choosing to keep your dignity—even when things don’t go your way.
So the next time life tests you with delays, discomfort, or endless wedding speeches, just smile and say:
“Gaman.”
